


Cats and Freelancers

by CabageCat (CarnageKittie)



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Polyamory, freelancer shenanigans, there are so many cats!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-02-10 11:23:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2023311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarnageKittie/pseuds/CabageCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Washington and Maine get an apartment together and Wash can't stop bringing cats home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It started out with just two, a cat for each of them, though they were both Washington's. One was a fat tabby affectionately named Ginger, Maine thought the name was ridiculous and cliche, the other a tuxedo cat named Socks, which was also a terrible name for a cat according to the large mountain of a man. The cats were the last things the two brought into their new apartment. They also attracted the most attention and soon a small crowd was gathered in their tiny home. Well, perhaps small wasn't the word for it, as there were seven people crowded in their living space including themselves. 

Both cats did not seem to mind all of the attention they were getting, both being held like babies as they were passed around. Once the excitement of the cats passed everyone introduced themselves. Currently standing in their living room was Carolina, who had her arms around the middles of two men dubbed North Dakota and New York, but they were casually called North and York. Beside North was his twin sister South Dakota, looking disgruntled as she was introduced as such. Next to her was a small woman, cradling Socks in her arms, that everyone referred to as Connie or CT, though she claimed her name was longer.

Once introductions were exchanged Washington crossed his arms, “Do you guys always barge in on new residents?”

“Only if they have cats,” York grins, “CT loves 'em and drags us to come see every time.”

Connie bristled at this accusation but did not drop the cat in her arms, “It was your idea to come barge in, York.”

The man's cheeks flushed a bit and he turned away from the group a bit in embarrassment and Carolina laughed, “No, we don't always do this. York thought you looked interesting and decided to drag us along.” 

York then edged away from the group, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. The scene received a huff of laughter from Maine and for Washington to cross his arms and look on in amusement and soon after the event the two bid everyone goodbye. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and removing sleeping cats from empty boxes.

After the first week in their home, Washington brought home their third and fourth cats, tiny Siamese kittens that he supposedly found in a box on the sidewalk. Maine had wanted to say no to the kittens but Washington already had the pout-y 'we have to keep them look on his face.' The look on Wash's face when he agreed was worth it. He had agreed on one condition, however. He got to name the kittens. The kittens were to be called Iris and Penny, their names based on the hue of their pointed patterns. 

Washington protested immediately, “Those are not real cat names. Those are like, names for dogs. Do these look like dogs to you?” He held up the chocolate pointed cat for emphasis. 

Maine laughed quietly at the dramatic display that the smaller man was putting on and he shook his head, staying firm on the names he selected for the cats.

The fifth cat, a fat white Persian, came home with Washington two days later and Maine began to wish that the place had a limit on how many cats the tenants could own, especially since this cat was affectionately called Fridge. Why Washington selected such a name for the cat was something Maine just did not bother questioning.

The sixth cat was brought home by Maine after a grocery run. He could not resist taking the last cat, ironically enough a Maine Coon. He names it Rosie before he gets home so Washington has no say in the name. When Maine arrived home he put a rule into place that this was the last cat they were to get and Wash agreed. Six was enough for them.

Movie night, they found out the night the final kitten was brought home, was a frequent thing in their new friend group. The first movie night that Washington and Maine were invited to was held in the apartment Carolina shared with North and York. Maine and Washington were introduced to three more people there, an eerily kind man called Florida, a man with a terrible sense of humor named Wyoming, and a woman with a bad attitude, though not nearly as bad as South's, named Texas. 

The movie was a romantic comedy that no one, besides Wash, were particularly interested in. The others were either in varying states of boredom, sleep, or making out. Maine was in a state of pure boredom along with Texas and Wyoming, who both left to do something else, Florida trailing behind them. Maine was not lucky enough to be able to leave as he had a certain cat loving blond perched on his lap. Looking about the room Maine discovered that North had fallen asleep, his head resting against Carolina, who was trying to brush off York's advances on her because now was not the time nor the place. That rule apparently did not apply to Connie and South, as they were necking on the love seat. 

Eventually Maine was able to get Washington off of him and get some of the refreshments that were set out in the kitchen. Movie night ended soon after, when York decided to get drunk after Carolina continued to turn him down and grabbed Maine's ass. He was promptly punched in the nose by the behemoth and then in the eye by his fiery girlfriend. North let out an exasperated sigh as he woke from the commotion of it all and shooed everyone from the apartment so he could clean York up. 

Maine was still bristling about being harassed by York when he and Wash got back to their apartment. So, Washington grinned up at him and took his large hand, dragging him to the bed they share. He sat him down on it before running out of their room. 

When Washington returned he had his arms full of Rosie, Iris, Socks, and Penny. He dumped the cats in Maine's lap before leaving and returning again with the other two cats. He sat beside Maine before placing the large cats in the pile of fur in Maine's lap. Wash grinned up at him.

“Is that better?” he asks, laying back in the bed after a moment. Maine replies with a small nod and soon joins him in laying down. They both wiggle into more comfortable positions. The cats decide that their current position on Maine is not good enough and a few move to lay on Washington as well. He laughs and rests his head against Maine's shoulder.

“I told you cats were a good idea.” 

Maine replies with a playful flick to the top of Washington's head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day all! I'm sorry this is so late. The next few chapters will focus around the other pairings and will come a lot sooner than this one.

The second movie night after Wash and Maine moved in was to be held in their apartment. Little did everyone else who attended movie night know, the two now cared for six cats and their apartment smelled far from pleasant. The moment South walked in she crinkled her nose in disgust.

“What the fuck, how many cats do you have?” She was very familiar with the stench of cats, Connie owning two of her own.

“I uh, six, I think?” Washington replied, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Holy shit,” Connie breathed besides South, her eyes wide,excitement dancing in them. “Do I get to meet them? What am I talking about? Of course I do. Sorry, those are the rules.”

South laughed and Wash grinned down at Connie, “Yeah. Yeah, of course you can meet them. Matty, could you take care of the rest of the guests, please?” Maine just huffed and nodded, his cheeks turning pink.

South could be heard taunting him as Wash led Connie down the hall by her wrist. Wash entered the room containing the cats while the guests were over. He scooped up the small Siamese kittens and showed them off, “These are Penny and Iris, Maine kind of gave them dog names.”

Connie's face split into a grin, “I think they're nice names.”

Wash gave her a look before scooping up Rosie, telling her name and again who named her as he handed the large kitten over to Connie. Fridge was next. Wash proudly presented her to Connie.

Connie made a face, “What kind of name is Fridge, Wash?”

The pout that formed on Washington's face made Connie laugh. 

“It's her name, besides, I found her in a fridge, so I think it's fitting.”

Wash is pouting as he finds Ginger and Socks and once they are found he holds them to his body, “You already met Socks and Ginger when we moved in. Now uh, we should go before they start the movie.”

Connie grins and simply walks out with the cats in her arms. Wash follows and finds her in a pile of cats beside South. He adds the two in his arms to it before taking hi place in Maine's lap.

Movie night was a disaster, once again. This time because of the smell of the apartment. York was almost constantly spraying some sort of air freshener that he went and grabbed from his own apartment, North pestering him to stop. Carolina left ten minutes into the movie, followed by Tex and later South. Wyoming was complaining the entire movie of the smell of the air freshener that York brought over and Florida was attempting to hush him. Maine eventually had Washington send everyone out. Connie pouted as she left, wanting to remain in the cat pile she had going on in the armchair.

Washington was relieved to have everyone out of their home. He was tired of the smell of the air freshener and all of the complaining. After locking the door for the night he settles into Maine's side.

“I'm sorry I used your nickname in front of them,” Wash says in a quiet voice.

Maine replies with a shrug and wraps his arms around the smaller man. He buries his nose in the bleached hair and pulls Wash even closer to himself. Washington hums quietly and wiggles his way into Maine's lap. 

“I love you.” 

Maine smiles and spells the words out on Wash's shoulder in reply.

Across the room the kittens decide that they want in on the action too and run and leap into Maine's lap and on Wash's back. Washington laughs and grins up at Maine before laying his head in the crook of the larger man's neck. He begins to stroke the kittens that have gathered and within minutes he's asleep.

It was midnight when York decided he needed to wake Tex to help him break into Washington and Maine's apartment to get his keys and cigarettes that he left on the coffee table. They just could not wait until morning. York was lucky that Tex was not actually asleep and instead engaged in a very intense match of poker with Connie, Florida, South, and Wyoming. She was irritated regardless.

“You're sure you can't just, oh, I don't know, smoke one of North's smokes?” Tex grumbles, her arms cross and back to York, serving as his look out. 

“North quit. Now shh before we get caught,” York replies in a quiet whisper as he attempts to pick the lock on the door. They had already been outside for ten minutes but hey, lock picking was hard. Tex could have done it in less than a minute but she wasn't going to say anything about that. York rattled the handle and the tools too much. Tex didn't know why she was being reprimanded for being too loud. She was surprised York didn't wake the entire complex.

York was fairly pleased with himself when he was able to get the door open. He moved to go inside but smacked into something tall, broad, and warm. He slowly looked up at the frowning face of Maine. The large man had his arms crossed and Wash was peeking out from behind him. York yelped and backed straight into Tex, her arms also crossed. 

Wash speaks up behind Maine, “You could have just knocked. I'm a light sleeper.” 

“Are you kidding me right now? It's York you're talking about here, kid. He's a born criminal.” Tex snarks, looking down on York.

“What? I am not!”

Tex rolls her eyes, “You're a thief, York.”

“I'm not,” He insists.

“Why were you breaking into our house then?” Wash asks, stepping in front of Maine.

“I wasn't going to steal anything! I just want my keys and cigarettes back...” 

“...It couldn't wait until morning?” Maine's response is silent and comes in the form of signs. It looks grumpy. 

York looks baffled as Wash quickly translates. Tex looks amused.

“I uh...I just want a cigarette,” York mumbles after staring for a long time.

Maine grumbles as he retreats into the house to retrieve the items York is after. When he returns he throws them at York's chest before returning to his home. 

“Next time, knock, okay?”

York nods slowly as he watches Wash return inside and close the door.

“And you said I would wake them,” Tex scoffs as she leaves York there. 

On the other side of the door Wash wraps his arms around Maine's middle. He leans up and kisses his jaw before pulling away. He moves around the room turning the lights out.

“Let's get to bed,” Wash hums as he walks to their bed room. Maine follows him and scoops him up when he catches up. The smaller man laughs as he carried the remainder of the way to their bedroom. Washington is dumped on the bed and Maine lays across him. He is still laughing as he tries to squirm out from beneath his behemoth of a boyfriend. Maine moves eventually but only after he attacks the bottle blonde with kisses. When Wash is released he curls into Maine's side. It takes Maine wrapping his arms around him and a couple of minutes before Wash is asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending is weirdly similar to chapter one's. I swear it wasn't on purpose.


End file.
